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About Digital Art / Student Suirano "Incompetence" EtherionMale/United States Recent Activity
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Dark Embrace
My friend enjoyed the Luna and Sombra images I did and wanted something with both of them together. So I changed Luna to Nightmare Moon since I barely draw her ( She is annoying to color ). Anyway, enjoy and stuff
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Putting this here on Deviantart is probably the biggest fucking mistake I have ever made here but here goes:

My depression has been reaching entirely new levels lately. If you've noticed, my name here and on Furaffinity have some rather questionable middle names in them. It was on tumblr too where my title was " A failure who can't amount to anything actually worthwhile." but a friend was really bothered by it and I didn't like causing her harm. It seems and feels like I am just in this black void of my own and I barely come out of it. I don't know if it is because I can't find people who are relatable or what not. I don't even know why I am bothering typing this. This depression surfaces from everything. From not doing well in a game, to taking too long with a piece of art or this current situation:


I have a degree in Animation and Game Design and another degree in Advertising and Graphic Design. I know how to use various programs including Photoshop, Illustrator, InDesign, Autodesk Maya, Unity, Unreal, and etc. yet it feels that when I actively try to pursue a sort of desire with it, it fails. An example, I have spent months working on a side project with my art. I am trying to make a 2.5D action platformer game. I was doing well with it, or so I thought only to realize just how much crap I wasn't taught in school or just never knew. I have spent long periods of time using tutorials and what not and haven't really made any progress with my work.

Asking for help seems to be a futile effort because the times I have is always met with no avail. Even my professor from college barely makes an attempt to help me out so I have been stuck here doing so many attempts and making no progress. It is heartbreaking that I can't seem to even do what many people call simple coding and really makes me wonder the choices I made in life. This is one of many examples but I guess I am making this post to shed some light on the mannerisms I display, my lacking of communication with people and just moments where I crash while streaming or something and just got consumed with extreme depression.

It feels like the things that really matter to me or I really want to do always fail and it hurts a lot. Many will probably say get over myself or they wish they were in my situation with art or whatever, I dunno. It hurts to have a dream or a desire, and to see it fly away further and further as days pass.

Making a game has been my ultimate dream, seems that was delusional of me.

This is just me venting. This depression has been around for years but has expanded and grown immensely in the last year to the point it has been affecting my physical health. It isn't some suicide thing so you guys don't have to worry about that but it is the kind that makes you view yourself as an extreme failure at anything and everything. It is how I feel honestly but I have mentioned this before and generally get bitched at or some generic "feel better" words that don't really mend the situation. ( I do appreciate it nevertheless. )

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Suirano's Profile Picture
Suirano
Suirano "Incompetence" Etherion
Artist | Student | Digital Art
United States
Current Residence: Sideon- The city of miracles
deviantWEAR sizing preference: uhhh reasonable?
Print preference: with ink?
Favourite genre of music: Pretty much techno and some rock and metal as well
Favourite photographer: N/A
Favourite style of art: I like all kinds
Operating System: I believe it is my heart or my brain =/
MP3 player of choice: Have too many to name
Shell of choice: Dragons have shells?
Wallpaper of choice: Butts
Skin of choice: IT BURNS!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Favourite cartoon character: N/A
Personal Quote: You Little Bastard
Interests
Putting this here on Deviantart is probably the biggest fucking mistake I have ever made here but here goes:

My depression has been reaching entirely new levels lately. If you've noticed, my name here and on Furaffinity have some rather questionable middle names in them. It was on tumblr too where my title was " A failure who can't amount to anything actually worthwhile." but a friend was really bothered by it and I didn't like causing her harm. It seems and feels like I am just in this black void of my own and I barely come out of it. I don't know if it is because I can't find people who are relatable or what not. I don't even know why I am bothering typing this. This depression surfaces from everything. From not doing well in a game, to taking too long with a piece of art or this current situation:


I have a degree in Animation and Game Design and another degree in Advertising and Graphic Design. I know how to use various programs including Photoshop, Illustrator, InDesign, Autodesk Maya, Unity, Unreal, and etc. yet it feels that when I actively try to pursue a sort of desire with it, it fails. An example, I have spent months working on a side project with my art. I am trying to make a 2.5D action platformer game. I was doing well with it, or so I thought only to realize just how much crap I wasn't taught in school or just never knew. I have spent long periods of time using tutorials and what not and haven't really made any progress with my work.

Asking for help seems to be a futile effort because the times I have is always met with no avail. Even my professor from college barely makes an attempt to help me out so I have been stuck here doing so many attempts and making no progress. It is heartbreaking that I can't seem to even do what many people call simple coding and really makes me wonder the choices I made in life. This is one of many examples but I guess I am making this post to shed some light on the mannerisms I display, my lacking of communication with people and just moments where I crash while streaming or something and just got consumed with extreme depression.

It feels like the things that really matter to me or I really want to do always fail and it hurts a lot. Many will probably say get over myself or they wish they were in my situation with art or whatever, I dunno. It hurts to have a dream or a desire, and to see it fly away further and further as days pass.

Making a game has been my ultimate dream, seems that was delusional of me.

This is just me venting. This depression has been around for years but has expanded and grown immensely in the last year to the point it has been affecting my physical health. It isn't some suicide thing so you guys don't have to worry about that but it is the kind that makes you view yourself as an extreme failure at anything and everything. It is how I feel honestly but I have mentioned this before and generally get bitched at or some generic "feel better" words that don't really mend the situation. ( I do appreciate it nevertheless. )

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:iconkeysmk:
keysmk Featured By Owner Jan 1, 2017
Happy new year
Reply
:iconduskstripe87:
DuskStripe87 Featured By Owner Edited Dec 30, 2016  Hobbyist General Artist
Hey there sui! ^W^

I wanted to ask you this question for a while but I don't know if you are into this show. But I wanted to ask you like have you ever consider making characters from Yo-Kai Watch into your artwork like Komosan, Jibanyan, Kyubi, etc.?
Reply
:iconvictinirus:
VictiniRUS Featured By Owner Dec 25, 2016  Hobbyist Artist
Merry Christmas Merry christmas everybody Fool Emoji-32 (Crazy Dance) [V3]Lolbit - FNAF World - Icon GIF= Wee!!! =
Reply
:iconkeysmk:
keysmk Featured By Owner Dec 25, 2016
Merry Christmas
Reply
:iconduskstripe87:
DuskStripe87 Featured By Owner Dec 17, 2016  Hobbyist General Artist
Hey awesome job on what you did when you created the Diamond Tiara Hoodie when you had uploaded on the e621 site. Very detail and awesome lighting! 

Facebook Thumbs Up Icon Thumbs Up! 
Reply
:iconlaughingvexxo:
LaughingVexxo Featured By Owner Oct 24, 2016  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Wow i remember liking your stuff ,like 6 or 7 yars ago, and now i stumbled upon you again!

Im really happy about it, I loved your art in the past and now it is simply amazing!

Also from what i see from your journal, you had some kind of surgery.

i don't know what it is about,but i do hope you get well soon.
Reply
:icontrilljacker6534:
trilljacker6534 Featured By Owner Oct 17, 2016
Happy Birthday Dance!Party:icongoldenplattercakeplz::iconrainbowbummiecakeplz:Have your cake and eat it tooPartyDance!
Reply
:iconmarkellbarnes360:
MarkellBarnes360 Featured By Owner Oct 17, 2016  Student Digital Artist
Happy B-Day!
Reply
:iconxemnas-sama:
Xemnas-sama Featured By Owner Oct 17, 2016  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Happy birthday!
Reply
:iconevangelian007:
evangelian007 Featured By Owner Oct 17, 2016
Happy Birthday Sui! :iconbirthdaycakeplz:
Hope you are doing well health wise.:pray:
Reply
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